What I Carry Forward: A Thanksgiving Reflection
This Thanksgiving weekend, our family gathered for a dim sum lunch. Everyone got to choose their favourite dishes, and we shared them all. Afterwards, we wandered through the beautiful Edwards Gardens in Toronto. No agenda, no timeline. Just nature, and the gift of everyone’s presence.
Later that day, I visited my mother at her nursing home. We watched TV together until she was ready for bed. Again, no agenda. Just being there, sharing moments together.
In one day, I had spent time with four generations of my family. Somewhere between the dumplings, the garden paths, and that quiet evening with my mother, I found myself reflecting on what it means to live a good life.
As a senior working in a multi-generational environment, a caregiver, and someone who now sees life differently, I have come to see life as a continuum:
What it used to be.
What it is now.
What it will be.
And what is still possible.
I find myself imagining the possibilities for someone with decades of experience, knowledge, and wisdom.
Perhaps this is a season of life when we can begin to loosen our attachment to monetary rewards, popularity, and the opinions of others. Not because these things never mattered, but because we have come to understand that they are not what ultimately matters most.
What matters to me now is what I pass on to my children and grandchildren. Not so much material possessions, but the virtues that shape character, the beliefs that guide our choices, the moral compass that helps us navigate life, and the family treasures that connect generations.
Perhaps one of the greatest privileges of growing older is the opportunity to turn experience into wisdom, wisdom into contribution, and contribution into a legacy that lives beyond us.
In this season, that looks like four simple practices.
Edwards Garden, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Learn
I want to learn more about each of my children, their spouses, and my grandchildren. I want to acknowledge their strengths and encourage them to develop their talents fully. And I want to see the world through their lens: their challenges, their struggles, and how I can best support them.
Contribute
Much of my contribution is practical. I babysit the younger grandchildren so their parents can work, run errands, or simply take a break. I cook special meals to lighten their load of meal preparation. I drive the older grandchildren to their lessons. And when I can, I give them money toward a vacation, lessons, or other expenses.
Connect
Connection begins with presence, simply being there. Sometimes it means being a witness to the lives of the people I love. Sometimes it means sitting beside my mother, watching TV until she is ready for bed. With everyone’s busy schedules, spending time together takes deliberate intention. One of my favourite ways to connect is around the mahjong table, where we play together while the younger generations practise their Chinese.
Renew
Playful time with my family and grandchildren renews my spirit. I feel rejuvenated after pushing the grandchildren on the swings, or catching them on the slides and the monkey bars. And I feel hopeful when I see my children take up the role of responsible parents, and my grandchildren behave with maturity and thoughtfulness.
That afternoon in the garden, and that quiet evening with my mother, reminded me that the best moments often come without an agenda.
We may not be able to choose everything that life brings us. But we can choose, with greater intention, what we carry forward and what we pass on.
For that possibility, I am grateful.
Happy Thanksgiving.
